Through

This has been a tough semester.  Looking through the archives, this seems to be a theme for the last several years.

My dad was arrested again, likely to serve the rest of his living days in prison.  In the meantime he is on house arrest.  I'm doing nearly twice the work for about half of the money.  I've dealt with some of the most frustrating, challenging students and student issues I've faced since I started this job seven years ago this semester.  One of my closest friends has essentially been out of the picture, dealing with his own issues; his absence hurts a lot.  Last week, one of my brother's closest friends from high school and college was sentenced to six months in jail and will be branded a sex offender for the rest of his life.  I'm still living in a space that's not my own, with 95% of my stuff in storage.  The estrangement in our family looms large with the stuff going on with my dad and with my first nephew on the way.

On the plus side, a former roommate got married a few weeks ago and one of my dearest friends got engaged last night.  And while I've been excited for them, it's hard to swing the emotional pendulum to the other side without collapsing into a puddle of tears.

It just feels like a whole lot -- and it is.  But God is sustaining me, and for that I'm so grateful.

As I've walked this road this semester, God has been showing me that I've just got to walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

I can't pretend it's not there or ignore it.

I can't wait it out or stare it down and expect things to magically change or resolve themselves.

I can't -- at least in this set of situations -- ask for deliverance and immediate teleportation to the other side.

I can't go around.

I must go through.

I must resolutely fix my eyes on Jesus and walk right through the middle of valley of the shadow of death.  I lean on His promises that His rod and staff will guide, comfort, and protect Me.  I take Him at His word when He says that He will ultimately give me beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning.  I trust that He will use this story somehow, and that He will work all things together for good -- both mine and ultimately His.

I'm not at a place where I can speak in broad platitudes or offer universally applicable advice, but if you're facing things you have no idea how you'll make it through, keep going.  Walk through.  God is with you, and you will make it.  He will sustain you.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When ou walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43:2-3a