I logged onto Facebook and saw all kinds of good news.
Former students celebrating 5 year wedding anniversaries.
Friends -- most my age or younger -- with kids celebrating birthdays.
Lots of folks whose kids were finishing their last days of school.
And while I was genuinely happy for everyone, here I was, single, kidless, still a renter, having recently quit my job without another one lined up. I felt left behind, lapped, and just plain forgotten. Long story short, I felt a like a failure.
Even though I absolutely know I am following what the Lord has for me, it's hard to feel like my life isn't like anyone else's sometimes. I had just come off a rough week at a professional conference. While I had many great friends there and really do love my profession, it was hard to be asked a lot of questions that I simply do not know the answer to. Even harder was to listen to kind, well-meaning advice that I ultimately do not feel like the Lord wants me to do. And it's hard to not really be able to explain myself or my situation to friends and coworkers who aren't believers.
So, here I was on Friday morning feeling badly about myself and just wondering, "Do you even remember I'm here Lord? Why doesn't my life look like anyone else's? What in the world are you going to do with me?" Then I got a message from my mom.
This morning as I was walking Doc, I was thanking God for His blessings. I was also thinking about and praying for you [and Katie.] Then I saw this:
She went on to explain how the Lord immediately brought to mind the verse in Amazing Grace that says
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come
'Tis grace that brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.
I may be rough and beat up like this chair, but it is the Lord and His grace that has led me through the storms. He has gotten me to this point, and I know that His is grace will be what leads me home. So great to know that the Lord has not forgotten me -- even when I can't sense Him or see Him moving.
He is showing me that He really is in the little things, and that nothing escapes His notice -- even someone having a pity party on a Friday morning in Arkansas. His grace will lead me home.
