Good Friday

Yesterday was Good Friday.  As a believer in Jesus, Good Friday is always special - but for me it holds a special significance as it's the day I told my boss I'd decided not to go up for tenure.  It truly did feel like the ultimate professional death.  I remember feeling a combination of failure, confusion, grief, and terror not knowing what lie ahead and not being entirely sure what this long, strange journey of getting a PhD had been all about because I was certain I was leaving higher education.

....BUT GOD

There's so often a "but God" in good stories, isn't there?  God intervenes where there isn't a way -- where there maybe even shouldn't be a way.  But God shows up, and shows us His power, His faithfulness, and ultimately His kindness towards us.  We are left with no choice other than to conclude that it's a "but God" story.

I feel a little extra reflective on Good Fridays.  Given my natural bent towards reflection on a normal day, that's really saying something!  Yesterday after a day of busy-ness and crazy-ness, I just felt really amazed at how God has worked in my life and my career, especially.  I can't believe I'm still in higher education.  I can't believe I'm in a job that is so suited for me.  I can't believe that I'm finally getting some external validation after years of just doing my thing because I thought it was the right thing to do.  But here I am -- BUT GOD.

There is purpose in pain.  I believe that strongly now -- I am not sure I would have seen that as strongly as I do now a couple of years ago.  Even in the death that occurs on Good Friday, there is purpose.  Don't circumnavigate or avoid the pain; sometimes you have to just go through it, trusting there is a "BUT GOD" in there somewhere for you, and trusting that God will use the "BUT GOD" to further His Kingdom on earth and display His glory, as you walk the path He has for you.

First year at PSU

Today I'm giving a final in one of my classes.  A year ago today, I interviewed for this job at Penn State.  Wow.  This year went fast and at times, and there were times I definitely wanted to fast forward a bit.

Overall, I learned that God is faithful and that transition takes time.  I learned to press into (and endure) the hard parts.  I learned that keeping God at the foundation of it all was critical.  I learned that I can do hard things (seems I keep being presented with an opportunity to learn and relearn that lesson!).  I learned to weather transition and, in time, thrive.

Finding my people and my place in State College took longer than I expected.  It took stretching out of my comfort zone, lots of false starts, and lots of showing up even when I didn't feel like it.

Ultimately, I think I am on the right path.  I keep being reassured over and over that God has planted me here for a season.  I want to put down deep roots and grow here.  I am excited to see what he has for me here!