Sad sad sad

Life is just crazy, and things have been an emotional roller coaster these days -- things at work, things at home, things in my personal life.  Everything seems like it's up in the air or hard or sad.

Coworkers having biopsies.

Life at home continuing to be messy for my parents.

The stars aligning for (another) (im)perfect storm at work next year.
No news on what comes next for me professionally or vocationally.
Students with advanced cancer struggling personally and financially.
An emotionally absent father who just turned 70 and still acts like he's five.
Still living with a family and not having a home of my own to invite people to or cook in.
Assuming extra jobs at work because we are so short staffed and having to take things day by day (even though I feel like the things I do are not valued or appreciated, or helpful to me personally or professionally).
Looming unemployment, bringing with it the end of health insurance, retirement contribution, and a sense of structure to my days.
The loss of a close friendship that still stings (and if I'm honest, sometimes makes me mad).
Students losing parents and grandparents.

It's tough.  I'm exhausted.  Today after an especially heavy faculty meeting, I just want to cry.

Yet as I write this, I am reminded that God says that His strength is made perfect in weakness; He bottles each of my tears; He has written my story before the foundation of time and will work things together for my good; and that I need to work as though I am working unto the Lord.

In short, I need to trust Him.  In the face of all of this, I have no other choice.  Life is so hard.  I have no idea how people make it through without Jesus.