First Day of School

Today, school started.  I admit -- I didn't really expect to be here.  At the end of last school year, I began to emotionally check out of here and wind down, anticipating being part of a character and leadership development program that started in September. I found out midsummer I would be here after all and I needed to recalibrate emotionally for what lay ahead -- preparing for another year teaching at U of A rather than an abrupt career change and move halfway across the country.

I have to say I felt a mix of disappointment and peace and confusion about this change of events.  On the plus side, I'd be able to spend another year with my friends, I would be able to earn and save money, and I'd get to continue working with students which I've grown to love.  In the negative category, I would not be experiencing these changes I'd become excited about and was sure God was leading me towards.  Additionally, it's just plain uncomfortable to have no idea what my life plan is beyond this May at the latest.

So while it's a bit of a mixed bag, I felt peace and complete confidence that the Lord had a plan in my being in Fayetteville.  I worked to rest in that.

Then my teaching assignment got switched around and became more and more of a stretch out of my comfort zone.  Then our department began hemorrhaging people.  Things became crazy, and I became more nervous about this year.

And today, it was here: the first day of school, the moment of truth.

I have to say, it was great.  So great.  Exceeded every expectation I had.

I had students come by my office almost all day, letting me know how glad they were I was here.  I had students stop me in the street, excited to see me.  "OMG!  I can't believe you're here!  I wish I had known to wait on Methods for a year until you were teaching it!"  Talk about an ego boost.  It felt great.

I still have no idea how to answer the questions about what's next.  I still have no idea why the Lord has me here, although I know He will develop my character and teach me in this season.

But I'm learning that when it gets right down to it, these answers don't matter right now.  The Lord will reveal what I need to know, when I need to know it.  Until then, I just need to be quiet and listen and wait and do what He has for me here in this season.  I will serve these students and love them and do my best to be a light to them.  I will live in the present, and work to enjoy every minute I'm here.  I'm excited to see what I learn and how God will grow me and be glorified as I teach another year of industrial engineering in Arkansas, probably for the last time.