Sanctification

The last week has been -- in a word -- sanctifying.  I have experienced more professional frustration than I ever have in my life this week.  I have experienced lower lows than I can recall experiencing in my professional life up to this point.  And, as my coworker pointed out, I think this week has taken a year off my life.  It's been hard.

And I am exhausted -- I am undone, at the end, beat.  And I need rest.

Through it all, I feel like the Lord has been with me, and showing me what I need to be learning from this. "You need to develop patience," He whispers when I am about to lose it.  "You need to be clear.  Good leaders direct with clarity; yours is lacking right now," He says.  "No you cannot control this situation.  What you have control over is your attitude," He reminds me.

And while my initial reaction is to fuss and whine and yell back and ask how this incredibly crappy situation is possibly my fault?  I realize the Lord is right; I need to learn from this.  Whether it's my fault or not matters very very little, if it even matters at all.  I need to learn how to do better, even (especially?) in stressful situations when things aren't going the way I want them to or I've planned for them to -- like this past week for example.

So to say that this week has been sanctifying -- making good out of bad, making me more holy and more refined?  Yeah I think that would be an understatement.

As I think about what I've learned this week and as I see how much more I have to learn and to grow, this quote catches my attention -- "Growth is nurtured by humility and strangled by pride."  Instead of being quick to blame and find fault in others, I need to humble myself and see how I can improve -- as a leader, as a friend, as a boss, and as the person God has designed me to be.

I have a long way to go -- a very long way.  But I am grateful for the Lord's help and patience, and I am committed to this process of improvement.