Faith in God includes Faith in His Timing

Remember when I had a plan and it involved getting tenure and living a stable, fairly lucrative life?  (Yeah, me too.)

Remember when God told me not to go up for tenure and apply for a year-long unpaid position?  And remember when I was certain I was going to get it and not be in Fayetteville teaching this year? (Yeah, me too.)

Remember when I got a rejected from that program, and when four of my colleagues subsequently retired or resigned?  And then when I learned I would be here teaching classes that are way out of my comfort zone and area of expertise, and require a lot of extra work on my part? (Yeah, me too.)

Remember when -- after I found out I would be in Fayetteville after all -- I had four good, solid, credible plans in place with roommates and places to live, and then none of them worked out?  And then I moved in with a family from my community group as a 34 year old? (Yeah, me too.)

So, yeah.  I am living in a family's spare bedroom teaching new classes for a year while I figure out what to do with my life.  That definitely wasn't my plan.  But I do feel like it is God's -- and I trust Him.

As I prepare for this upcoming year, I am taking it one day at a time.  I feel like the Lord is showing me that He will give me my daily bread -- just enough to get through the day, forcing me to rely on Him in a way I really haven't had to before.  And honestly, it feels like I am just here treading water...passing time...waiting...not doing much of anything productive that's moving the ball forward.

As I brought a new friend-to-be up to speed on some of the major developments in my life, she wrote me something so wise. 

Sometimes I think we get a vision from God and then run out from under His protection to make it happen in our timing.  But if we do that, we forgo the wonderful lessons He has for us in the waiting time!

Did she hit the nail on the head, or what?!  Then the Lord reminds me, "Learning patience, learning discipline, becoming more humble and selfless -- that's not doing nothing.  I am developing your character and molding you more into the person I designed you to be and who you will need to be to carry out the next phase of the plan."  Suddenly the holding pattern doesn't seem as stale or fruitless.  In fact, it feels like the actual plan -- not just the backup plan or the plan B or the "we'll be here until we figure something better out" plan.

So what does that mean for me, for this year?  Well, as with basically everything else in my life right now, I have no idea.  If I had to guess, it means waiting on the Lord and seeing what He would have me do in His timing.  It probably means doing some time in the rock tumbler, getting rough edges taken off and experiencing friction and discomfort as the Lord transforms me.

In the meantime, I will be here listening and waiting for what's next.  And when the Lord says the time is right, then I will actually go and do it.