Books I've Read This Year, part 2 and my Reading Goal

This summer I read a ton -- in parks, at restaurants, at the water park.  It was so incredibly relaxing, and I loved learning about new things and escaping into new ideas and fictional places I was reading about. When I realized I'd finished 50 books by mid June, I wondered to myself, "Can I read 100 books this year?"  I figured I'd give it a shot, but only as long as I was enjoying it and not letting this become a stressful goal.  I figured I would have no shot at meeting the goal if I didn't read 75 books by the time school started.

School (at least reporting to school for me) starts tomorrow.  I made it through 78 books so far this year.  This means that in order to read the remaining 22 books required to reach 100, I have to read about a book a week, with a week or two where I read two books.  That's totally achievable.  Here we go!

Below is the list of books I've read since I last updated my list.  Once again, I've bolded my favorites.

1. Seriously Mum, What’s an Alpaca? by Alan Parks
2. Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World by Tsh Oxenreider
3. Let Hope In by Pete Wilson
4. Husbands and Fathers by Derek Prince
5. Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequest
6. Signs, Wonders, and a Baptist Preacher by Chad Norris
7. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
8. Lincoln’s Battle with God by Stephen Mansfield
9. International Bank of Bob: Connecting our Worlds One $25 Kiva Loan at a Time by Bob Harris
10. The Jesus Blueprint by Dave Buehring
11. Be Real: Because Fake is Exhausting by Rick Bezet
12. The List: Figuring Out Prince Charming, the Corner Office, and Happily Ever After by Marian Jordan
13. I Know their Hearts by Jeff Olson
14. Passion: The Bright Light of Glory by Louie Giglio
15. Captive in Iran: A Remarkable True Story of Hope and Triumph amid the Horror of Tehran's Brutal Evin Prison by Maryam Rostampour, Marziyeh Amirizadeh
16. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
17. The Power of a New Identity by Dan Sneed
18. Sojourner Truth: American Abolitionist by W. Terry Whalin
19. Voice in the Night: The True Story of a Man and the Miracles That Are Changing Africa by Pastor Surprise, Bill Johnson and David Wimbish
20. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
21. Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis
22. Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes by Jonathan Auxier
23. When God Breaks your Heart by Ed Underwood
24. Fashioned to Reign: Empowering Women to Fulfill Their Divine Destiny by Kris Valliton
25. One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Land by Priscilla Shirer
26. Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
27. Humility by Andrew Murray
28. Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker

Summer 2014

This summer -- a midlife sabbatical.  This was the first time in more than 20 years that I have had a summer off with no job or real responsibilities, and it was good.

How can I sum it up in a simple blog post?  It was a time of rest.  It was a time of refreshing.  There were hard times.  It was a summer of relationships and reading and reflection.  And I needed it.  I didn't know how badly I needed it until I had it.

This summer I regained the ability to "sleep in" -- if we can call sleeping until 8:00 or 8:30 sleeping in.  This summer I spent time with friends, and came to realize just how blessed I am to have incredible friends who are supportive, honest, who encourage me, and who love me.  Great friends who love me enough to be there and share the good times, but who also love me enough tell me the truth even when I don't want to hear it.  This summer I spent a lot of time by myself and with the Lord, thinking, processing, praying, and asking direction for what comes next.  This summer I began developing gifts that I didn't know I had, and began putting them to use at the Joppa House.  This summer I spent a lot of time outside -- in parks, at Crystal Bridges, and on the lazy river.  This summer, the Lord gave me a new vision and outlook on how discipleship and industrial engineering and academia can go together.

And although the summer wasn't without its hard parts and low moments, this was a summer of Selah.  It gave me the space to think and reflect.  It gave me time to unwind and feel refreshed.  It gave me time to remember what is important and to think and pray about what comes next.

Although I am struggling with the idea of the summer ending and starting back up to school in a week (with the students returning the following week), I am thankful for this job -- the one that my boss said she would never create and that is clearly the hand of the Lord providing for me.  I am thankful to head into the school year with renewed vision and with a greater understanding that God is at work.  I may not understand how or what exactly He is doing, but I know enough to know that these puzzle pieces that are moving into place are moving at His direction and at the sound of His voice.  And I trust Him in that, and know that His plans are good.

Books I've Read This Year

I just finished my 50th book so far this year (technically, I started and in a couple cases finished some during Christmas Break which began in late December).  Here's a list of what I've read so far this year. My favorites are bolded -- this is a lot more variety and fiction than I usually read, but I've enjoyed the variation.

1. Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
2. Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest
3. Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo
4. Anything by Jennie Allen
5. My One Word by Mike Ashcraft
6. Bossy Pants by Tina Fey
7. Undaunted by Christine Caine
8. Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (and Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
9. Grace, Gold, and Glory by Gabrielle Douglas
10. Wednesdays were Pretty Normal by Michael Kelley
11. Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung
12. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
13. Divergent by Veronica Roth
14. Insurgent by Veronica Roth
15. Allegiant by Veronica Roth
16. A Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership by Stephen B Sample
17. The Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
18. Akaine- Her Life, Her Art, Her Poetry by Akaine Kramarik
19. I Will Carry You by Angie Smith
20. Murder in the Yoga Store by Peter Ross Range
21. Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom Com World by Marian Jordan Ellis
22. Jumping through Fires: the Gripping Story of One Man’s Escape from Revolution to Redemption by David Nasser
23. 7 Keys to Prophetic Maturity by Sam Medina
24. Learning to Love: Passion, Compassion, and the Essence of the Gospel by Heidi Baker
25. Amazed and Confused by Heather Zempel
26. God Smuggler by Brother Andrew
27. 7 Men by Eric Metaxes
28. Theodore Roosevelt by Lewis L. Gould
29. Comedy Driven Leadership: Think Like a Comedian, Move Forward Like a Leader by Jonathan Herron
30. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis
31. Holy Spirit: an Introduction by John Bevere
32. Forgotten God by Francis Chan
33. They Speak with Other Tongues by John Sherrill
34. Culture of Honor: Sustaining a Supernatural Environment by Danny Silk
35. Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequest
36. Free in Christ: A Complete Handbook for Spiritual Deliverance by Pablo Bottari
37. Smart Money Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze
38. Moment Maker by Carlos Whittaker
39. Singing through the Night: Courageous Stories of Faith from Women in the Persecuted Church by Anneke Companjen
40. Wonder by RJ Palicio (+ the Julian chapter)
41. Switch on Your Brain: the Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health by Caroline Leaf
42. The Fault in our Stars by John Green
43. Gladys Aylward: the Little Woman by Gladys Aylward
44. The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson with John and Elizabeth Sherril
45. Because of Mr. Terupt by Rob Buyea
46. When you Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
47. Beyond the Ancient Door by James A. Duhram
48. Chasing God: One Man’s Miraculous Journey in the Heart of the City by Roger Huang
49. Unveiling Grace: The Story of How We Found our Way out of the Mormon Church by Lynn K. Wilder
50. The Life and Prayers of Joan of Arc by Wyatt North

Not looking back

A friend who is in the midst of life and career transitions asked she could pick my brain about career stuff.  While I happily agreed, I thought it a bit ironic since I feel like the only advice I feel qualified to give at this point is about how to light a match to your career and watch it go up in flames.  I wasn't sure what exactly to expect or what I had to offer.  I just prayed and left the results of our coffee date up to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Of course, He did not fail (duh uh).  The meeting went well.  It was validating to hear that not everyone buys into the notion of a swanky, prestigious career over more traditional priorities.  I felt understood hearing how she struggled with all of the demands that she felt pulling her in different directions, and how she fundamentally refused to be defined by a career or a position above her values, faith, or sense of obligation to those she cared about.

Near the end of the meeting, she asked me a question that I hadn't thought of before.  She asked, "Sarah, do you ever look back and question your decision to walk away?"

To my surprise, I had zero hesitation and I knew the answer immediately.

"No,"  I responded confidently.

To be honest, I was surprised.  Even in the most confusing, toughest times of waiting out the uncertainty, I never questioned my decision to leave my job.  There were definitely times where I mourned the loss of a life plan and the faulty illusion that I used to have that I was in control of my life and where it was going.  However, even in the toughest times I never once thought, "OMG this was a mistake."

What a gracious thing that the Lord used to reassure me that I am walking on the path that He has for me.  While I have no idea where it's going or what lies ahead, I trust that the Lord has me on His path.  I trust that I am walking in the plan that He has for me and that that they are good -- even when I don't understand them or even know what they are.

And I am grateful to realize that even at my most confused and frustrated and impatient, I do not look back.  May my trust continue to grow as I walk in the plans He has for me.  May I wait with confident expectation, knowing that even the most shocking, unlikely, difficult things do not catch Him by surprise.  May I wholeheartedly believe to the absolute core of who I am that He will work all things together for my good as I love Him and walk in the call He has on my life.

Trust - May 2014 update

I wrote earlier this year about how I felt like the Lord wanted me to focus on TRUST in 2014 -- trusting Him more, and viewing everything through that lens.  While I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to trust Him with, I felt like it probably had to do with my job, career, and vocational future.

Certainly, in some ways that has been part of what it's been about -- having a new boss all of a sudden, being asked to stay in a modified version of my current role instead of making a huge vocational transition like I'd felt like God was leading me to, and just having one year of a plan (and not even having that be official yet).  Now while in some respect that's been crazy, in many other respects that's been just the beginning.

I entered the year with four solid single girl friends; two are now engaged and it would not surprise me at all if the other two are by the end of the year.  This leaves me as the only single post-college person in my social circle.  And while there have been hard moments, God has been clear: TRUST ME.  Trust me with the timing and my provision of a spouse for you.

This has also been a year of transitions when it's come to my friendships.  One of my friendships crumbled which was tough and uncomfortable.  Another friendship took an unexpectedly serious, deep turn -- which was surprising and while it happened a bit scary (but is now ultimately good).  One of my best friends is moving to India for most of the rest of the year.  Again, the Lord has asked me to trust Him, to believe that His plans are good, and to trust that He will provide.

I've also continued to live with a generous family in my community group -- and while they've been great and super generous, it's been weird to be 34, sharing a bathroom with two teenagers, and living with most of my stuff in storage in a spare bedroom.  But God says, TRUST ME so I am and believing that I will find the right roommate, housing situation, or place to buy in His timing.

What I know is that God is faithful and that nothing catches Him by surprise.  What I know is that He has a plan and purpose in each of these situations.  He is developing my character, and time spent learning to trust Him is well spent.  May I be a good student of these lessons now, and a good steward and teacher of these lessons in the future.

The day I told my ex-boss about the Great Commission

Life's been crazy with all the transition that is going on in and around the department where I work.  Because it looks as though we will be extremely short-staffed for the upcoming year, I've been offered the opportunity to stay and teach for one year.  There was some uncertainty there for awhile, but it looks like it's going to really happen.

Crazy.

Today, my ex-boss -- newly promoted to a higher position -- and I had lunch.  While part of the conversations turned to the whens and whats and how muchs of what I would be doing, my ex-boss Kim was very concerned about what would happen next and what my plans were beyond teaching in our department for a year.

The real answer is that I've basically chucked any (faulty) notion of a life plan that I used to have, and that I'm willing to do anything that the Lord wants me to do.  I feel like the Lord is calling me to the area of discipleship, but I'm not sure what that looks like vocationally and how that would play out.  And while I had prayed a lot in advance about this meeting, I wasn't quite sure how to say all of this in an honest yet understandable and credible way to my non-believing ex-boss.

To my surprise, I explained to her that I believe that God still speaks to people and that He was probably going to have me to something with discipleship.  I explained that I felt like He had given me a passion to help people learn about Jesus, and become followers of Him.  I explained that I was interested in helping Christian students learn how to become followers of Jesus and navigate the transition from Christian-in-college-with-so-much-time-and-friends-and-Jesus to all-by-myself-working-professionals-who-still-follow-Jesus.  I explained that the last thing Jesus said before He left earth is that we are supposed to help people learn to follow Jesus and become disciples of Him.  Yes, I basically explained the Great Commission during lunch to my non-believing ex-boss.

I couldn't believe it.  I sort of still can't.  Yet she seemed interested and engaged, and to receive it well.

One of my favorite verses in Acts (4:29) is when the believers pray, "Consider their threats, and enable your servants to speak with great boldness."  It's like I had my own 2014 Holy Spirit filled version of this transpire right in the middle of my favorite grilled cheese restaurant.

I expectantly believe that my conversation with Kim went exactly as it was supposed to.  I am believing that the Holy Spirit will use the words He gave me to at least plant a seed.  I want to be somewhere in the "I planted, Apollos watered" chain, and to be faithful to exactly what the Lord wanted me to say.  I am trusting that God will be the one to bring the increase.  After all, only He can do it, and He is well able. May He alone receive the glory.

And then, it got crazier.

Yesterday we got an e-mail at 4:30 PM from my boss' boss.

"Please come to this meeting at 8:30 AM tomorrow.  I am traveling, so I can't join you in person but I will dial in to meet with you you.  If you can't join us in person, please call in to our conference."

Urgent news, no hint what the meeting was about?  Cryptic.  Strange.  Flipping through the mental roladex of ideas about what the meeting could possibly be about, I came up empty.  No idea.

This morning I found out that effective immediately, my boss was no longer my boss.  She has been tapped to be an interim dean*.  Wow.  Alrighty then.  This boss -- the one who unofficially offered me the opportunity to stay on again next year, the one who has been so supportive and helpful during my career here -- may or may not be coming back to serve in her current capacity.

I have no idea where this leaves me for next year.  I have no idea what will happen from here.  I keep thinking that this year has been the craziest year ever and that there is no way that we can work with even more of a skeleton crew; there are no more curve balls that can possibly be thrown.

Wrong.  With less than a month remaining in the semester, the events in our department take another unexpected turn.  We had 17 faculty members last year.  Now we've lost a sixth (not to mention a seventh is out on maternity leave).

This. is. crazy.

Will I be extended another offer?  Who knows.  I keep reminding myself, "This does not catch the Lord by surprise.  He knew this, and will sustain me.  I can trust Him with my future.  He has a good plan for my life."  But seriously, this is cray cray.

*It is a promotion and I am happy for her.  She will be good at the job, and is well-deserving of the recognition.